I’d Rather We Got Liquor Stores
I was going to post this last night, but since I wasn’t feeling well, I slid my laptop under my bed and went to sleep. I hope that darn Mother of All Bacteria is gone; I just popped the last pill this morning. I don’t want to be sick once more.
On a positive note, my brain seems to be working again but it’s trying to process four lanes of highway traffic on a narrow one-way street. I can’t write fast enough. Ramble yes. Write no. For now all I can do is write my thoughts down, give each one a number and deal with them in the order in which they were conceived. That’s how they handle the traffic at the ShopRite deli counter and everyone gets served.
Anywho, Friday nights is usually a trip to the bookstore, not always, but usually. I may not buy anything, but I like to sniff the books, thumb through them and see what’s new and on sale. I was browsing the humor section and I saw Larry Wilmore on the cover of a book, so I picked it up. The name of his book is entitled: I’d Rather We Got Casinos. I had to read it a few times. I’d Rather We Got Casinos? Excuse me. What?
Synopsis: Collected for the first time, all in one place, are his Black Thoughts. From why black weathermen make him feel happy (or sad) and why brothas don’t see UFO’s. He also wants to do away with Black History Month! After all, can twenty-eight days of trivia really make up for centuries of oppression? In Wilmore’s own words, “I’d rather we got casinos!”
If he can get a book deal on I’d Rather We Got Casinos then I’m sure some publisher out there is interested in my book: I’d Rather We Got Liquor Stores. Okay maybe he is a little more well-known than I am, but I’ve seen some other books in the humor section I wouldn’t take to the toilet. Actually I started writing a humor book years ago, but I lost it.
A few minutes into reading the book I found out that hope, as in expectation, is black. If hope were a real person and had to fill out a job application, under race it would check the box, African-American or black. Hope. Is. Black. Okay now I’m interested, explain. He said if hope were not black, there would be no need for The Great White Hope. Then he referenced Obama’s book, The Audacity of Hope and I couldn’t help but laugh. I got it, it made sense to me. Hope is black. Who knew?
Speaking of Obama, there’s a woman at my job who loathes him and I like to get her riled because, I can. Just say Obama and her blood pressure rises and I like to watch. We’re friends, so it’s okay. She said in the event of an emergency and she passes out, I could revive her with a chocolate bar she keeps in her desk.
I offered to draw a white chalk outline around her body and eat the chocolate bar myself. Now that I think about it, she may have already eaten the chocolate bar during Obama’s inauguration. I will keep the chalk in my desk though, for his re-election. Anyways, she was ranting about his inexperience and how Americans are a bunch of sheeple who follow the crowd. And had they really thought about it they would have realized that Obama is not qualified for the job as president.
I’m a public defender of some kind, so I pulled this one out the air, not really, but since we had already been talking about the bible – our conversations know no limits – I thought I would use it to make a point or to raise her blood pressure. I explained that Moses was not a great speaker, he had a speech impediment, a stuttering problem maybe, but he used his brother Aaron as his spokesman. Moses was inexperienced, but he was chosen to lead a nation of people, so experience is not always a prerequisite.
Silence.
After mulling it over she said: “Get out of my office.”
I laughed out loud. Hey I’m not saying Obama is the chosen one, I know better, but my point was that we shouldn’t judge people in position, some are put there for a reason.
Moving on. I listened to a few minutes of Steve Harvey this morning, his entire radio staff irks my nerves, but sometimes they drop knowledge and I take notes. They had a guest on the show, I don’t know his name and don’t care to, but one thing he said caught my attention.
His grandmother told him never to fall in love with a stripper. She explained that you should never fall in love with someone who strips you of who you are. When we feel the need to “fake the funk” or lay who we are to the side just to be with someone, sum ting wong.
I don’t know how much control we have over who we love, but I’d rather we choose someone we don’t feel the need to “change our spots” just to keep. After all, can a few scattered moments of happiness really make up for years of pretending to be someone we’re not?
I’d Rather We Got Liquor Stores.
In: Food for Thought · Tagged with: black, casinos, liquor
