Mother of All Bacteria
So I’ve been sick for the last four days but I’m starting to feel better, even with the occasional chest pain. Not to worry, it’s not a heart attack, but I think bronchitis.
I’m not a doctor but I know myself well enough to self-diagnose on occasion, and I have the Internet. All I have to do is type in a few symptoms and in 0.21 seconds, I have a buffet of diseases at my disposal. I chose bronchitis over heart attack for the obvious reasons. See, I could have been a doctor. Have Internet, will diagnose.
Anywho, I’m a firm believer in my body’s ability to heal thyself, of minor ailments, eventually. Germs build up the immune system and sometimes just have to run their course, literally. We can swallow whatever medicine the doctor gives us, but until that bug is ready to leave, we will be sick. So I’m okay with a day or two of IDM or Immune Deficiency Malfunction. I just didn’t suspect this current bug to find opportunity at the gate, in the crevice of my throat, and set up camp.
Once inside, it sniffed around like I was a dog’s butt, searching for anything that smelled familiar. For two days it played hopscotch on my tonsils all the while insisting it was just there for the view. Normally the maid is very good at not letting germs overstay their welcome, but around day three, I realized the maid fell asleep on the job and this germ was perusing my body like a residential walkthrough looking for a hole in the wall.
I take pride in the skills of my immune system and its ability to avoid the new germs on the block. When a virus gets too comfortable and thinks it’s about to start some mess, my immune system does a crossover dribble spin move that leaves most germs dazed and disoriented. Then it throws a glance back over its shoulder and utters a cocky, “please.”
Well while my immune system was busy showing off its fancy footwork, this little germ was unsuspectingly reproducing by the second. It didn’t even want to be called germ anymore, but Bacteria.
Bacteria quickly infiltrated the basement of my chest cavity and gave birth to Bronchitis on my immune system like it was a throw blanket. It took me by surprise at how quickly it developed into something else.
Be forewarned, Bronchitis is the mother of all bacteria and wreaks havoc on the body. I’m going to need drugs for this B and if the drugs can’t cure it, I hope they at least knock me out until she’s gone.
In: Health · Tagged with: Immune System, Sick
